Save & Continue: How Dance Music Got Its Game On

This was originally written as a feature for Mixmag coinciding with the release of the original ‘DJ Hero’ video game back in September 2009. Whilst the piece eventually took the form of a smaller advertorial (http://kvisit.com/S6Zhx), I felt it was worth a look back on.

Given the recent demise of the ‘Hero’ branded music games and wider collapse in popularity of a genre that seemed less than two years ago to offer an alternative, financially sound revenue stream for musical artists suffereing turbulence within their own industry, this becomes yet another indicator towards the relentless pace of change and fickle nature of current trends.

So read on for an interesting history of dance music in video games, featuring interviews with DJ Shadow, Lee Rous (Plump DJs), Si Begg and more – and perhaps think about where we’ll all be in another 18 months…

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Save & Continue: How Dance Music Got Its Game On

With the launch of DJ Hero, dance music and games have never been closer. But is armchair DJing really the future?

“Hey it’s ya boy, DJ Grandmaster Flash, the first DJ to make the turntables an instrument,” hollers the legendary and rather chirpy hip hop originator from his Bronx basement on the TV screen.  “I’m gonna teach you everything you need to learn about being a DJ, so listen up and let’s get you started!”

This is DJ Hero, the new game from the makers of Guitar Hero. Instead of a mini-guitar, the game comes with a sleek-looking mini record deck (in gamespeak, the ‘peripheral’). Players scratch, cut, sample and rewind their way through over one hundred mashups, pre-mixed by the likes of Daft Punk and DJ Shadow. The challenge is to time your button stabs, scratches and fader moves to the coloured lines of the vinyl ‘highway’ as it scrolls towards you – ripping between everything from the Gorillaz to The Killers as you journey to become the most party-whoopin’, badass DJ in the whole wide room. Grandmaster Flash, DJ Shadow, Daft Punk, Z-Trip, Jazzy Jeff and the late DJ AM all feature as playable characters.

“It’s a social, party game with music for everyone,” reckons Jamie Jackson, hip hop fanatic and creative director at Freestyle Games, the British company snapped up by publishing bigwigs Activision to develop the global phenomenon – 25 million selling – ‘Hero’ franchise. “Social gaming is the biggest form of gaming in the world right now – before you go out, in a room full of mates and a crate of beers. Having a party.”

Game on. But this isn’t the first passionate embrace between dance music and video games. In fact they’ve been flirting for nearly two decades. Games like Wipeout – a futuristic, anti-gravity racing game (think F-Zero on pills) were introducing the Playstation generation to ‘Xpander’ by Sasha, Leftfield’s ‘Afro-Ride’ and ‘Under The Influence’ by the Chemical Brothers as early as 1995. Alongside artists like Daft Punk, The Prodigy, Plump DJs, Orbital and Underworld these were released as full soundtrack albums making this incredible new music available to buy (had you not already ripped the game CD straight to mini-disc).

“Dance music and computer games were deemed by those in positions of power to be two of the great ‘scourges on society’ in the Nineties,” recalls Andy Crysell, current MD of insight and strategy agency Crowd DNA, who works with Sony PlayStation , “so bringing them together made perfect sense. There was Xenon 2 before Wipeout – a PC game from circa ‘89 which had a Bomb The Bass soundtrack, but Wipeout was as much about making a cultural connection as merely providing a soundtrack”, says Andy, who’s also a former Mixmag journalist. “As my somewhat over-excited sleevenotes [for the Wipeout 2097 album] were looking to suggest, dance music and gaming make for perfect partners – adrenalised, digital and future-facing – and while many were forecasting that gaming would kill the music industry, in fact, it could offer a new platform and outlet for artists.”

Indeed, the advance of more powerful processors and CD-rom based games like Wipeout opened the door for hundreds of artists to a new audience, recalls Lee Rous of the Plump DJs. “We got some interest after finishing our first album from Wipeout’s creative department at Sony and met in their Liverpool office – with its car park full of Ferraris!” The Plumps initially licensed their tracks to the game, but as their relationship with the commissioners developed, they began producing tracks like ‘Big Groovy Fucker’ with Wipeout in mind.

“It’s about getting the biggest voice possible,” says Lee. “We like making innovative dance music – less targeting who listens to it where, more playing it as loud as we can so as many people can hear it as possible. So it’s a great industry to be involved with.”

Gaming has brought artists into music too. Like Radio 1Xtra’s drum and bass star Crissy Criss, who credits his first steps in production to ‘Music’ on the PS1 – a 1998 release similar to the popular ‘Dance eJay’ series on the PC, which allowed gamers to sequence pre-made and original riffs and samples into a track. “Obviously it was the shittest thing ever,” laughs the youngster, “but that was my first track and that’s how I got into it. From there it was on to the next version, then up to Cubase, when I really needed to work with sound.”

Games like Crissy’s copy of ‘Music’ – notably featuring ‘remixable’ tracks by Leftfield and Grooverider – have also developed the idea of computer games and consoles as useful tools, exemplified by our current fascination with Nintendo’s massively popular ‘self help’ software on the Wii and DS. Then there’s forthcoming ‘apps’ for the iPhone like Beaterator from RockStar, the makers of Grand Theft Auto – a Timbaland-powered, pocket production program – providing further evidence of cross-industry collaboration and a shift in attitudes.

Music producers have also sampled computer games, giving rise to tracks like DJ Fresh’s ‘X Project’, set to appear on Wipeout HD and the ‘chip tune’ phenomenon – with forums like 8bitcollective.com bursting with Game Boy beats and artists like Mars Wind boasting fans like Deadmau5. Even Tiesto’s latest album features a track, ‘Louder than Boom’, bursting with Super Mario-style diddles and pings.

After all, there are loads of similarities between the worlds of dance music and gaming. Both have traditionally invested in creative talent and production with the artists earning their keep by creating entertainment. And both see publishing giants operate with or alongside small independent labels jockeying for their piece of the pie. Their starkest difference? While the record industry flounders in the face of web 2.0, the games industry is thriving.

According to Activision’s CEO Robert Kotick, the Guitar Hero franchise is only the third game in history to reach $2 billion in sales after Mario and Madden NFL, in a global industry expected to reach $76.1bn in value by 2013. Compare this to a decline in music sales since 1999 – with issues like file sharing and piracy undermining the record labels and hurting artists’ ability to earn an income from royalties – and it’s no surprise to see musicians embracing involvement with profitable video games like Wipeout and DJ Hero to diversify their income during an increasingly turbulent time.

Wonky techno producer and turntablist Si Begg was recently employed to score an entire 8-bit soundtrack for an iPhone game called ‘Guts’ by Channel 4 Learning. Formerly on Mute Records, he now makes his money as a sound designer for websites, adverts and TV, which he says has ‘liberated’ his music production from the money-making pressures of the record industry that would have seen him and now see other artists continuously touring and prodded towards current trends in search of hits and radio play. His choice now is to make his new E.P. available for free, or for £100 – as an elaborate limited edition box set including a laser etched wooden record from www.sibegg.com/24bit – which provides an interesting and experimental insight into the split trends in music consumption that have shaken the music industry to the core. So could the video games industry save the music industry?

Well if the importance placed on great music in creating DJ Hero is anything to go by, it could well be a possibility, says Jamie Jackson. “The music industry realises what we have to offer. Look at the numbers. If there are over 25 million consumers worldwide – game buying, peripheral buying, consumers of Guitar Hero, and if DJ Hero comes even fractionally close to that – that’s a lot of new people listening to your music who are prepared to pay for things they like…”

More importantly for Jackson, however, is the effort taken by his co-developers to expose a wide variety of new, relevant music and classic tracks to new audiences through the game. They regularly questioned DJ Shadow to help identify classic DJ rarities and samples (and how to spell ‘boyeeee’ a la Flavor Flav) and through nothing short of a licensing miracle, the game, three years in the making, features a quite staggering range of artists, which they recruited a whole bus load of talent to mash up.

Radio 1Xtra DJ, D-Code, who got into dance from the hardcore scene, before hitting the mark with his drum and bass productions, was approached by the game’s developers in February 2008, and alongside his brother (known as Silent Source) he landed the job of Senior Remixer. However, balancing mixes that D-Code states “worked well sonically” with compelling game play became a tricky proposition, as even one of the games megastars will freely admit.

“The first mash-up I attempted was Boogie Down Productions’ ‘Jack Of Spades’ and David Bowie’s ‘Let’s Dance’,” recalls Joshua Davies, aka, DJ Shadow. “I wanted to make sure that they would work as a stand alone mix – on a musical basis – then I had to implement the game play aspects which was really the hard part.” The easy part for the Californian turntable wizard– rumoured to own a collection of over 60,000 records – was making the decision to get involved in the first place.

“Well I can definitely tell you that this game came along at a good time for me. I’m not touring this year and you can’t really make a living off of royalties anymore so speaking on a purely pragmatic, frank level, it’s given me an opportunity buy some free time to record my next record properly. If you’re a musical artist you are constantly looking for ways to diversify your streams of income simply so that you can continue doing what you love to do.”

Of course, featuring in a game that gives you an excuse to play with yourself every night had nothing to do with it?  “Ha ha! Well that wasn’t discussed in the first meeting. It felt strange. I mean when I was on MoWax, I remember James Lavelle being really excited about making little cast toys of his likeness and I was thinking, ‘I really don’t think I would want that!’ But having discussed this with my wife I thought ‘well ok, I have been a DJ for a long time – I’m passionate about the music and the artform of DJing – so this is hopefully a chance to portray it to people in a way that is credible.”

But could this stop the kids learning the real thing, as old school rockers Bill Wyman and Paul McCartney have suggested of the ‘Guitar Hero’ games? Not for Shadow. “To me this is access to music,” he says. ”You can be discouraged and you can grumble – that’s fine, but you have to have an eye on reality. In fact, I think a lot of the most innovative minds in music are the ones that end up being the most conservative – and that’s true in this case as well.” And for Si Begg it’s obvious. “There’s plenty of kids that are going to want to be the one on the stage, without pretending. The fact is, if they want girls after them they’re going to have to get on the real thing! …Not that I ever get any bloody women – it’s always blokes wanting to know what software I’ve used!” Maybe being a DJ Hero in real life isn’t quite what it’s cracked up to be…

The fact is, for all his concerns about credibility, Shadow is a modest man. With his help DJ Hero is about to ignite the mother of all parties in a living room near you and expose millions of new game players to some of the greatest music ever made – mashed up by some of the greatest DJs of our time – and then by you and your beer-guzzling mates. In fact lads, now you‘ve arrived, here’s a free lesson. ‘Fix Up, Look Sharp’ into ‘Genesis’ by Justice? Simple. If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a dozen times, you don’t need to be a pro to be a hero.

Posted in Dance Music, DJ, DJ Hero, Gaming, Media, Music Industry, Uncategorized, Video Games | Leave a comment

101 Albums & 53 Mixtapes That Made Me A Man + Free Mixtape!

So here they are people. One hundred and one albums and fifty-three comps and mixtapes that shaped my everything. From flicking the ‘Xtra-Bass’ button on my cassette walkman as a kid driving across Dartmoor to Cornwall in the back of our Citroen Visa, to DJing at Creamfields and writing for Mixmag. They’re in no specific order (other than A-Z for all you High-Fidelity types) as the value of each varies with the shape of my mood or how nostalgic I happen to be feeling… And because however brilliant, obvious or credibility-sapping each may seem to be, every single one of them made an impression on my life and my ears.

Also, at the bottom of this list of highly recommended music, you’ll find a link to download the best mixtape I ever made, featuring more than a few of the tracks on these beautiful and amazing records. Enjoy…

Albums of Awesomeness

1992-2002 – Underworld
2001 – Dr.Dre
A Grand Don’t Come For Free – The Streets
A Rush Of Blood The Head – Coldplay
Bad – Michael Jackson
Behind The Sun – Chicane
Best Of Vol. One – UB40
Black Sunday – Cypress Hill
Blue Lines – Massive Attack
Brothers In Arms – Dire Straits
Californication – Red hot Chilli Peppers
Carboot Soul – Nightmares On Wax
Clues – Robert Palmer
Come With Us – The Chemical Brothers
┼ – Justice
Dangerous – Michael Jackson
Dark Side Of The Moon – Pink Floyd
Definitely Maybe – Oasis
Demon Days – Gorillaz
Destroy Rock & Roll – Mylo
Discovery – Daft Punk
End Titles Redux – Unkle
Escape From Planet Monday – DJ Fresh
Exit Planet Dust – The Chemical Brothers
Exodus – Bob Marley & The Wailers
Fat Of The Land – The Prodigy
Fever – Kylie Minogue
Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
Freeland – Freeland
Funeral – Arcade Fire
Fur & Gold – Bat For Lashes
Goodbye Country, Hello Nightclub – Groove Armada
Gorillaz – Gorillaz
Greatest Hits – Bjork
Headhunters – Herbie Hancock
Hold Your Colour – Pendulum
Homework – Daft Punk
Hot Fuss – The Killers
In Rainbows – Radiohead
Intensify – Way Out West
Invisible Touch – Genesis
Irreverence – Faithless
Issues – Korn
Jagged Little Pill – Alanis Morissette
K – Kula Shaker
Kaos – Adam F
Leftism – Leftfield
Live At Glastonbury – Orbital
Live At The Fillmore – Cypress Hill
Me And This Army – Panzah Zandahz
Means Of Production – Aim
Melody AM – Röyksopp
Mezzanine – Massive Attack
Misplaced Childhood – Marillion
Moon Safari – Air
Movements – Booka Shade
Music For The Jilted Generation – The Prodigy
Night Works – Layo & Bushwacka
Oblivion With Bells – Underworld
Odelay – Beck
OK Computer – Radiohead
Outrospective – Faithless
Pause – Fourtet
Peoples Instinctive Travels & The Paths of Rhythm – A Tribe Called Quest
Play – Moby
Promises & Lies – UB40
Radiohead – Kid A
Ray Of Light – Madonna
Reverence – Faithless
Revolver – The Beatles
Run Come Save Me – Roots Manuva
Seeds Of Love – Tears For Fears
Shallow And Profound – Yonderboi
Silent Alarm – Bloc Party
Sound Mirrors – Coldcut
Sound Of Silver – LCD Soundsystem
Stars Of CCTV – Hard Fi
Sunday 8pm – Faithless
Swim – Caribou
The Best Of – De La Soul
The Bravery – The Bravery
The Diary – Scarface
The Last Broadcast – Doves
The Message – Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
The Score – The Fugees
The Slim Shady LP – Eminem
The Wall – Pink Floyd
The Warning – Hot Chip
The Whole Story – Kate Bush
Timeless – Goldie
Troublegum – Therapy?
Urban Hymns – The Verve
War Of The Worlds – Jeff Wayne
Welcome To The Pleasuredome – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
(What’s The Story) Morning Glory? – Oasis
Who’s Next – The Who
Worldwide – D.I.T.C.
Writers Block – Peter, Bjorn & John
Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots – The Flaming Lips
You Can Be Special Too – Evil Nine
You’ve Come A Long Way Baby – Fatboy Slim


Mix Tapes and Compilations

Art Of Acid – Justin Robertson
As Heard On Radio Soulwax Pt 2
Australia Tour ’98 – Ministry Of Sound
Back To Mine – Faithless
Back To Mine – Nick Warren
Beginners Guide – Platipus
Big Beach Boutique II – Fatboy Slim
Big Dick Disco – Gristy
Bugsy Malone OST
Clubbed Out Vol 2
DJ Kicks – Hot Chip
DJ Yoda presents How To Cut ‘n’ Paste Volume 2
Dreamstates
FabricLive 04 – Deadly Avenger
FabricLive 09 – Jacques Lu Cont
FabricLive 16 – Adam Freeland
FabricLive 26 – The Herbaliser
Faithless – The Bedroom Sessions (Mixmag CD)
Gatecrasher Discotech
Gatecrasher Red
Gatecrasher Wet
GU23: Barcelona – James Lavelle
Hip Hop Forever mixed by Kenny Dope
I Like Turtles – Diplo
Incredible Sound Of Drum N Bass – Goldie
Journey’s By DJ – Coldcut
Late Night Tales – Fatboy Slim
Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels OST
Massive 1 – An Album Of Reggae Hits 1985
Mr. Nice – Howard Marks
Once In A Lifetime – Cream Anthems 2000
One+One – James Zabiela & Nic Fanciulli
Pro-Tek-Shun-Rack-It – Wandan
Pure Garage II
Shapeshifters present House Grooves
Snatch OST
Strange & Beautiful
Taxi II OST
TDK Cross Central Vol 3
Tech Trance Electro Madness– Deadmau5(Mixmag CD)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie OST (my first ever CD!)
The Best Dance Music In The World Ever… Part 9
The Definition Of Hip Hop compiled by Arthur Baker (HMV Freebee)
The K&D Sessions – Kruder & Dorfmeister
The Mash Up Mix mixed by the Cut Up Boys
The Matrix OST
The Triptych – Fred Deakin
Top Gun OST
Transformers The Movie OST
Uncovered – Ministry Of Sound
Verve Remixed
Wip3out – OST (burnt from Playstation 1 disc)
Zen CD – A Ninja Tune Retrospective

FREE mixtape download for The Phillout Sessions V selected and mixed by Phil:D uploaded at high fidelity 320kbps quality.

Please follow this link to my soundcloud page, listen, download and share… Full, homemade artwork is available on request.

The Phillout Sessions V (Online Version 320) by Phil Dudman

Tracklist:

1. (Intro) The Herbaliser – A MOTHER (for your mind) VS Nightmares On Wax – 70s 80s (Upbringing Mix) (A Cappella)
2. Groove Armada – SUNTOUCHER (Beats Version)
3. Shine Head – BILLY JEAN/MAMA USED TO SAY
4. Midfield General feat. Linda Lewis – REACH OUT (Full Version)
5. Aim – FALL BREAK
6. Freeland – BIG WEDNESDAY
7. Coldcut – MAN IN A GARAGE (Nick Franglen (Lemon Jelly) Remix)
8. Lazy Habits – SMALL SCREEN
9. Aim – LOOPDREAMS
10. Lucid – SCARED
11. Easy Star All-Stars feat. Gary “Nesta” Pine & Dollar Man – MONEY
12. Beats International feat. RPM – INVASION OF THE ESTATE AGENTS
13. Nightmares On Wax – LES NUITS
14. Skunk Anansie – HEDONISM
15. Radiohead – CLIMBING UP THE WALLS
16. Faithless – SUNDAY 8PM (A Time For Lovin’ Mix)
17. (Outro) The Who – I AM THE SEA

Equipment Used:

2 x numark ttx1 turntables
1 x numark dm3002ex 3 channel mixer
1 x korg chaos pad (mark 1)
1 x sony d-303 discman
1 x 1978 rotel ra812 integrated stereo amp
1 x numark pvx headphones (which broke)
1 x sony mds-s9 minidisc deck (still love the MD)
1 x sony f-v dynamic microphone
1 x pioneer pdr-w839 cd recorder
2 x crusty swedish speakers

http://soundcloud.com/phil-dudman/the-phillout-sessions-v-online-version-320
Posted in DJ, Festivals, Free Download!, Glastonbury, Meaning of life, Media, Mixtape, Music, New Music, Rave | Leave a comment

That Mitchell and Webb and Fry and Walliams and Mitchell and Webb and Fry and Mitchell and Fry again look…

It all started with Jonathan Ross. Well at least that’s when I remember getting consciously bothered. That moment when you blink and realise that you’ve seen that person on three TV shows, four adverts, read them in multiple newspaper columns and magazine interviews and heard them umpteen times on the radio all in the space of 12 hours. That moment when you suddenly realise you are utterly bored of their celebrity face, inflated ego and their ‘pride of the nation’ popularity and you would like them to just sod off.

I find the new culprits even more deplorable. Particularly as I used to think they were great (except Walliams). These used to be the guys you could to turn to for a bit of sanity relief when everything got a bit too stupid. Cool, funny and culty outsiders – a celebrated bunch of razor-witted uglies who brought contrast and counterbalance to an otherwise L’Oreal moisturised, phony existence. Stand back airheads, the cynics are here! Yeah! …Before, that is, their wave of popularity seismically expanded into a tsunami of unbearable proportions – the aftermath of which has left nothing but complete saturation and their omnipresent voices, faces and opinions dripping from every media orifice.

This, dear friends is the dreaded pitfall of over-exposure. At its worst, it renders victims completely unaware that they have become as sensually irritating as the inescapable celebrity guff emanating from the Paris Hiltons, Peter Andres, Kerry Katonas and Katie Prices of this universe. At least their desperate limelight hogging is as simple as that. It is what it is. If people haven’t got enough lifestyle, drug, financial and relationship problems of their own to deal with and require some Tango-tanned, surgically-enhanced, ITV2 personalities to make stuff up, sell it in a rainforest’s worth of books and constantly invade our televisions to tell us all about it, that’s just fine. It’s a conscious, legitimate, taste-orientated choice for us to either inhale it all in or tape up our nostrils and hide in a cave. Free will in action.

Why mince your words?

The fact is, however annoyed/snobby/despairing/enraged/sickened/suicidal [select as appropriate] one might feel about the volume of minced up, re-regurgitated entertain-puke we are bombarded with from all angles, across all mediums, all day, all the time, containing the intellectual nourishment of a Findus Crispy pancake (in meat or philosophical form) – sometimes we all need a bit of shit to tuck into.

My pet hate for instance is Friends. Its nineties, ACME-delayed laughter and choking predictability gets me very wound up indeed, even more so my other half’s apparent immunity to everything I find so irritating… (Did I miss school the day of the vaccination?) Worse still, whilst I have taken recent comfort from my dying television’s habit of switching to standby whenever the title theme tune comes on, tempting as it is to brand this as a new generation of ‘Good Taste Ready’ TVs and sell them through Currys, the problem afflicts the programmes I do want to watch as well which negates any real sense of triumph.

In reality, my self-inflicted allergy to Chandler and Co. is made worse, again, by over-exposure. By the fact they are constantly on the airwaves – all day, all the time, with all the comedic originality of a pound shop whoopee cushion. Even outside I can feel their jovial nonsense in radiation form: swirling around and curdling with the traffic fumes until it condensates into an image of David Schwimmer’s ‘ironic’ gawp on the bus window. [Cue delayed public laughter and exaggerated back-slapping.] But what really gets to me is how, despite all the potential satisfaction of scouring this sitcom’s artery-clogging, yuk-encrusted scab from the pan of my experience with the cynical, ridiculing cleaning power of a Charlie Brooker and Scrubs’s Dr. Cox co-branded detergent – sometimes I succumb – paralysed in the doorway, chortling robotically and hankering for something tenuously meaty with a breaded, crispy coating.

The truth remains: as easy as it is to pick on Friends – it’s absolutely pointless. The program is a huge, middle-of-the-road, global success and therefore embalmed everlasting in the popular consciousness until the next big thing takes its place – say some kind of rigged fame-whoring talent contest, or a pillock-punctuated dancing show. Hope springs eternal…

The difference is that the rise in popularity of your Mitchells, Webbs, Walliams *cough* and Frys was because they weren’t middle of the road. They built careers as representatives of that wonderfully intelligent, satirical, observant and cynical tongue-in-cheek so innate to the British character. They gained fame, name and influence because they stood outside of the mainstream, with a talented ability to digest it, dissect it, and mock the living shit out of it whenever it became too unbearable. So here’s the crux. [Cue confused look from Joey…] When the outsiders become the pin ups, the cynics trade in their frowns and the pedestal we put them all on swells too high to climb down from – it must be time to cut them loose, bring out the new guns and start again.

Brace yourselves, however, because the clairvoyant condensation on my bus window suggests it’s likely to get a lot worse before it gets better. In fact the prospective programming of ‘The 100 Most Cringe-worthy Advertisement Voiceovers’, ‘The 50 Most Populous-Patronising Epiphanies’ or ‘Teenie’s Smug Celebrity Countdown’ appearing all over Channel 4 and BBC3 for the next five years is a bang-on certainty – all of which will see Fry, Mitchell, Web and Walliams sitting around piffle-paffling, looking incessantly ironic and rolling their eyes to camera until your TV pukes out its own internal circuitry in incredible three-dimensional high-definition. Or you switch back to Chandler and Co. for some mild, sensual anaesthetic…

Phil Dudman 10th January 2011

Posted in Annoying, Celebrity, David Walliams, Funny, Media, Mitchell and Webb, Over Exposure, Satire, Stephen Fry, TV, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Cake London’s ‘Elevenses’ New Year’s Eve Boat Party 2010

As you may know, me and the lads run a little party we like to call Cake… Consider this your invitation…

[Event details taken from www.facebook.com/cakelondon]

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Dear Cake-fiends,

Please pre-heat the oven and prepare yourselves as on December 31st we’ve been invited by the Tamesis Dock to see in 2011 with a cherry on top: on the Thames, opposite Big Ben and with one of the best views of the fireworks in the city. It’s prime NYE real estate – and we’re providing the party!

Since starting Cake in an aptly iced London back in January – with a mission to bring our super-friendly, fun-tastic cr…owd hundreds and thousands of ways to have a great time to great music for the absolute hell of it – we’ve grown into one of London’s best little secrets – and this NYE we’d love it if you came to celebrate the (almost) first birthday of the only Cake that gets fresher with age!

With pub prices, beer promotions, surprises galore and a license to party till 4am, there’s no better excuse to come and wave your hands like river royalty as the crowd-lined embankment salutes you with misty eyes and outrageous jealousy… And of course, whilst we fine tune the proceedings over the next few weeks, being Cake, fine-tuning the fine tunes is what we do best, so expect nothing less than ridiculously danceable good times from the ‘who the fuck are they???’ Cake DJs all night long. Crumbs, we’ll even have decks on the decks for some midnight madness!

Ticket & Venue Info:

Advance sales only, tickets are £45 each after December 1st (with a limited number of £35 early bird tickets) – available now from the Tamesis Dock.

To purchase tickets:

1) call 0207 582 1066 – to pay by card over the phone

or

2) make a bank transfer (stating NY+ name+ no of tickets e.g. ‘NYBrown8’)
Account details:
Tamesis Dock
Sort Code: 30 98 97
Account Number: 02405586

Cake are merely the booty-jackin’ entertainment for this one so for more ticket info and location details, contact the venue directly using the website and number above or by emailing events@tamesisdock.co.uk

This will sell out very, very cakely, so get in quick and keep your eyes peeled for more surprises TBA via Facebook.

Spread the word and we’ll see you for elevenses!

xXx Cake xXx

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dear Radio 5 Live…

Dear 5 Live,

having been recently made redundant, I have tuned in on a daily basis and followed your many debates. I’m 28 and trying very hard to not only find work to pay the bills, but also to work in a field which I am genuinely interested in – something that was always instilled in me as being possible and worth striving for as I grew up in our culture of promise and opportunity. However, listening to the various debates and heated opinions each day is not helping. In fact, according to your bleak broadcasting content, as a relatively young person, I am destined for misery.

My education – throughout which I gave my all and subscribed to the belief that it was an investment that would earn me a passport to a career or job – is fundamentally Mickey Mouse and of diminishing if not questionable value. Yet as a result of investing in the prescribed educational route, and being born a few years too late to get a grant, I am in debt to the tune of over £10,000 before I start. Furthermore, recession or not, it is near impossible for me to get a foot on the housing ladder. Then we find the job market is beyond repair and my efforts to work hard for decent grades through the education system (which we were given to believe was the be all and end all of our futures) is of no tradable use whatsoever. I am also now destined to work into my 70s so I can afford to live my decrepit latter years on any kind of pension. Family seems out of the question too really, as I will not be able to support children and give them a fair start in society, and even if I could it would be selfish as we live in an over-populated planet with limited resources.

Of course, I am likely to be the victim of terror, epidemic, natural disaster or meaningless violence first, which is some consolation, or I can simply go down the James Dean school of thought and blow out in a blaze of youthful glory before I’m thirty, or perhaps sign up to go to Mars.

My point is however, that I’d rather not. I’m trying to stay motivated and contemplate a future which doesn’t look like a scene from The Matrix. But to do this I may soon be tuning into an alternative station as your increasingly tabloidesque portrayal of negative news is pretty depressing. Even your presenters seem to despair on a daily basis. Come on chaps. Some happy vibes please. Before the suicide rate goes up.

All the best,

Phil D, Hammersmith.

Posted in Meaning of life, Media | 1 Comment

The Magpie Operation launch gig TONIGHT and free download

Dope with wings

 

http://www.mixmag.net/2010/10/14/free-download-and-gig-from-cardinal-bunion/#more-22590

First single from the new ‘ The Magpie Operation’ LP, available from Run and Jump Records.

When the enigmatic Cardinal Bunion was whisked from 17th Century Italy through a freak time-portal into our world of sampled shindiggery – blessed beatmaking and looping mellow dramatics became his obsession. ‘The Magpie Operation’ is the debut album from the clock-wandering, comic cleric and his myriad mob of musicians – infusing fresh London hip hop, funk, jazz, horns, breaks and even Ronnie Corbett into an album that will have all you Late Night Tales, Nightmares On Wax, Aim and Groove Armada cats with your whiskers in a twist.

His eminence has teamed up with Mixmag.net to offer this free download of the first single ‘I Just Don’t Know…’ and invites you all to the Magpie Operation’s first live show, album launch and DJ event at Shepherd Bush’s famous Ginglik beat bunker from 7pm this Thursday night.

For more info, show deets and music check out: http://www.myspace.com/themagpieoperation and http://www.ginglik.co.uk/?page_id=1164

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The Oldskool – Let’s Rave to the Grave…

Most of dance’s most famous DJs are already middling their 40s. But what’ll happen when we wind it forward 30 years? Sure we may never see the first Grandaddy of hard house for life expectancy reasons but I’ll wager thirty quid that Sven will still be smashing it well into his 100s. So what about the rest? Can you imagine Judge Jules being wheeled out like a hunchbacked old pianist at a jazz festival to tinkle the Technics ivories – a secondary stage’s worth of speakers piled inside the DJ booth instead of headphones? Will Erol keep the grandkids dancing? Or will it all go a bit 2Many grey hairs and Danny Rambling? It’s hard to see what the future holds. I mean what will the kids be rapping about now bitches, murder and hoes are so old hat? Nano-slappers and illegal genital stem cell tattoos? And more to the point, what about the tunes?

Techno will be fine of course – those heads have been waiting for Blade Runner to become a reality for the last 30 years so at the very least you can expect each new E.P. to divide fans with two different endings. But how will others fare? Will prog ‘retirement-home’ house settle for anything less than tracks that last for 3 weeks? Will Dubstep producers finally perfect a defibrillator bassline that can be used to restart ageing hearts that have peaked too early on the dancefloor? Perhaps for those who don’t make it, each resident’s DJ set might come complete with obituary acappellas?: “Marvin was a man possessed – who passed away doing what he did best – on Heaven’s dance floor staring at breasts – it caused a pain in his chest – now in peace he will rest.”

Yes, and what about festivals? Will Glastonbury valley start to resemble a mud-proof, wheelchair-friendly skate park? Will Emily Eavis develop her Dad’s billy-goat beard? What will Grumpa Geldof do next? Band Aid… Live Aid… Hearing Aid?: “Give us your fucking money! I said GIVE US YOUR FUCKING MONEY!!!” Shit, even late licensing issues could become a thing of the past now everyone is asleep by 10.30pm. And you can forget alcopops. It’ll be halves of bitter and lime, a pint of IPA and a strong shot of ginger wine all round – perfectly complimenting the veritable smörgåsbord of Guetta hits that have finally matured into edible strong cheese… And how about Ibiza? Sure Amnesia will be at the forefront of everyone’s mind but ‘We Love… Bournemouth Promenade’ could change the scene entirely. Will the world’s nightclubs remain open for all us golden-ravers who can still leave the ‘Reader’s Digest does Cream Anthems’ compilation in the ‘compact disc player’ and make it out for a big early evening shuffle?

Of course they will. We’ll get a free bus home and no doubt there’ll be couches everywhere and widened corridors with access ramps to every bar. I quite fancy rocking a glowstick zimmer frame that could be hired at the door, leaving my clunky aluminium number in the vastly extended cloakroom. Hell, we’ll all be gurning with unparalleled freedom once the nashers have been removed and the blue-rinsed podium dancers will look rad in the UV light. We could even have toupee vending machines for a quick change of appearance, or a set of gold falsees for nostalgic drum and bass reunions. There’ll be blended meals on tap at the bar and fag machines modified to take morphine kits and incontinence pants – what with not being able to make it to the toilet ‘n’ all. But don’t worry about that. The built in sprinkler systems that go mental at each breakdown will not only wake up our wrinkly rave army at regular intervals but also mask the smell with a mild lavender perfume and hide the damp patch from where you just wet yourself again. Heck, that’s not unlike the campsite at Global Gathering now… It’ll be marvellous.

Better still what better way to piss off all the young sensible people on the way home as they complain bitterly at the lack of rude words to rap about and write letters to the council about the zimmer-frame congested pedestrian crossings as we all hobble home with the speed of an HD slow motion replay. They can bang broomsticks through the floorboards as much as they frickin’ want when the after party soars into the early hours, just past midnight, as we rabbit on about the glory days of vinyl and how funny it was when people paid for CDs – in a shop! We’re not gona bloody hear them anyway. And as for drugs? Well, what difference will a few more pills make. It’s going to be grand. Worth saving a pension for I’d say…

Phil Dudman, August 2010

Posted in Ageing, DJ, Festivals, Funny, Music, Rave | Leave a comment